AUGUST for no reason
Maybe I like August because it’s an easy way to mark looking back, due to it being near the beginning of school and all. I still remember that it was in August that a boy in high school said he loved me and to never forget that. I have since forgotten the impact of those words, but for some reason remember that it happened in August, probably the 18th. So, in honor of that totally arbitrary thing, and a ton of self-focused spare time at work, let’s look back on the Augusts of the past.
August 2002: About to head off to Berkeley, decided it was perfect timing to tell long-time platonic friend that I had a crush on him. I think Patty had urged me to do it before leaving for college, and though she was probably right about the timing, it would have been better had I not decided to do it over AIM. Ah, high school. What stupid stupid times. I remember that whole summer, though, with this weird anticipatory dread mixed with apathy mixed with a shit-ton of hormones and this sense that everyone in college would laugh at me for getting through high school while remaining a virgin.
August 2003: Got through the first year of college in one piece, and was just wrapping up the Greatest Summer of All Time, which it has steadfastly remained through many summers. In the first week of August, I was able to drive a golf cart for the first time, at the country club across the street from Seth’s house, with Sarah hanging onto the back of it desperately. We were “kindly asked” to leave the premises after I veered off the paved path due to alcohol-induced bravado. It was an excellent time! That was the summer I worked for Cutco, and Clear Star Pictures, and Campaign California! or whatever. I still use the pocket knife I got from Cutco, I still put Clear Star Pictures on my resume, and I recently received a check because I was automatically part of a lawsuit against Campaign California, as they broke some labor laws. That was the summer I met some weirdo with a Caesar haircut at a dive bar in Los Angeles who insisted I listen to his band’s demo tape and called me incessantly for a month or so afterward. Spent a lot of time with some dubious characters in general. Spent a lot of time on the phone. Went dancing a lot. Good times.
August 2004: Post-stroke. Was spending my time back in Berkeley renting documentaries and smoking a lot of pot. I got a job at Ned’s Bookstore, and would go to it while high. Also had a job at a head shop, strangely never went to that job while high. I reread American Psycho this month, maybe the last time I read it in full. My boyfriend at the time was always working during the day, so I spent a lot of time listening to classical music and staring at myself in the mirror. I watched whatever came on public access television, including some fantastic programs like Classic Arts Showcase and Squirrel Wars! Despite it all, I was deeply depressed, still trying to come to terms with invisible disability and shit like that. The constant classical music and crossword puzzles were nice, but to the rest of the population I was merely a hermit.
August 2005: Still primarily focused on pot, reading, and being a hermit. Became entranced by the way trees looked when strong wind was blowing through them. Attacked fantastic criminal literature for the first time, and also went ahead and read Pynchon’s Mason & Dixon, it was a good one. I was reading all of the books for classes I hadn’t started taking yet, and thus the classes were horribly boring and I thought my classmates were idiots. This is not different from any other year of schooling. I discovered a box of old photographs and realized I had more photos of my pets than of my friends, but that’s okay. This was the month I realized my boyfriend did not like musical theatre whatsoever, and it was heartbreaking. I freaked the fuck out a lot during this month, but it was still good. I lived in my first San Francisco apartment and watched a lot of Gilmore Girls reruns. I had a pet rat named Dipstick who was very wily.
August 2006: Had suffered a nervous breakdown, reneged on a new lease with the boyfriend. Went on a road trip, dumped old boyfriend, came back to town and had new boyfriend within 24 hours. I was living in Berkeley again, stuck in the dorms for awhile before finding an adorably overpriced converted garage studio tucked into this woman’s back garden. Was already upset with the new boyfriend, but was thrilled about embarking into the World of Swinging. Had started meeting creepy and not-so creepy types over the internet, and at the same time I was so interested in my new sexual ideology, I had neglected to heal from previous relationship and was wandering into dangerous waters with the new one. I discovered a lot of new music at this time. I didn’t smoke pot anymore. I was a senior at school and ready to be done. Raccoons crawled over my skylights in the middle of the night.
August 2007: Had strep throat, but also went to Colombia! First trip out of the country to see the wedding of my boyfriend’s wife’s brother, because my life was one big interesting story at this time. I mysteriously bled out of my mouth a lot, but I was in a gorgeous country and had a gorgeous time. I was living in downtown San Francisco, in some kind of barely-legal apartment with no windows and communal bathrooms. The space was huge and I watched a ton of fantastic films projected onto a bare wall. I rarely saw the sun. I was okay with that. I still traveled to my job in Berkeley, which I really enjoyed and still miss. I had a good time, most of the time, everyone thought I was very interesting and exciting. The first week of this month, though, was aaaall Colombia. I could have had a better time if I’d gone with someone else, but it’s too late to change that now. I no longer speak to the now ex-boyfriend, but I do speak to his wife, who is designing a dress for me.
August 2008: Had split with that boyfriend a few months earlier, life was instantaneously better because of that. Was using more social networking sites than ever, having joined OkCupid, Twitter, and Tumblr. Blogged more. Tried to be friends with ex boyfriend, but he disagreed with too much of what I was doing with life. I flirted a lot. I slutted it up. I was able to say, “I’m with the band” for the first time, regarding a band that was actually good, and with the implied meaning of “I’m fucking the drummer” actually being true. The drummer was great in bed. I got a promotion at work. I had a room of my own. I met more people over the internet during this month than I have between that month and today. I met my current boyfriend, but made sure to sleep with the drummer again before things got official. I spent a lot of money, started regularly having wine with dinner, and everything was gravy.
So far, August 2009 is also fantastic, with only minor ups and downs. If all goes according to plan, I’ll lose my job and have a good reason to kickstart life again. Also, this job is kind of stupid, even if I do get a bottle of whiskey in the mail every so often.
Hooray for wastes of time!
